My Sweet Adeline,
Our fortunes have taken a turn for the worse this week. The enemy has now taken to placing boxes of TNT inside their own camps. Every night, I am haunted by visions of innocent green pigs senselessly killed by these horrific explosions. They’re using their own people as human shields, Adeline. What kind of god would allow such beastly, immoral acts?
Sometimes I can’t help but think that hurling ourselves at the enemy camps is senseless, possibly even insane. But I am just a simple soldier, one of many birds that do certain things when tapped. I’m just following orders. I will be with you soon,
Blue Bird
—McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Angry Birds — Letters from the Front Lines.
